come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
