ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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