it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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