And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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