I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hippo gnu deer
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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