I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
