I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
