i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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