She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Boobs speak an international language.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
