38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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