First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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