there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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