i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
