He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
