My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
