Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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