8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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