im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
