I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
