I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
