I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
