Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
