soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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