Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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