I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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