Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
