Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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