Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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