capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
