Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize