yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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