Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
