so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
