I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
