AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
