you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
