Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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