He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
