No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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