u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
