her vagine was all disorganized.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
