I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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