am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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