Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
