Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
