Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That's when you crack a 10am beer
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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