I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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