1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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