He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
