I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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