Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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