My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
