I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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