Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
